Comeback Story The ballad of Ray Ray McClanahan

>THE BALLAD OF RAY RAY McCLANAHAN

This article is a fictitious and is meant as satire. Any people referred to in the article are imaginary made up characters and nothing about this article is true or factual.

Ray Ray McClanahan, former member of the popular seventies group "Musclehead" is hard at work in the studio on his comeback album. The Album entitled, "Smoke that last roach for me," has been in the works for over seven years, faced with numerous setbacks and problems, The album is set for release in May of this year.

Ray Ray McClnanhan vanished from the music scene for close to 15 years after his bands meteroic rise in the mid seventies. By the early 80's however, amidst sagging album sales and McClanahans 9th stint in rehab, the band broke up in 1983 after there 4th album "Yo Mama can't dance" sold an abysmal 3,000 units.

After serving time in jail for posession of amphetamines and marijuana in 1985, McClanahan was released after serving a 5 year sentence in 1989, he promptly vanished from the public eye, not to be heard of or seen again for over a decade. When asked what he did during this period and where he had gone, McClanhan said, "I was on a journey to find myself and my significance within the cosmic sphere, I didn't know where I was going or where I had been but I knew that I would end up somewhere and I hoped that somewhere was a place where I could find that peace I had always been yearning for." When asked about his new album McClanhan simply stated, "This shit rocks."

McClanhans brother Jimmy Ray Ray, was seen leaving the studio recently where Ray Ray was recording tracks for his new album,he was apparently wheeling a baby carriage with no baby inside. A strange object inside the baby carriage that appeared to be an orange object was seen inside it. When asked for comment Jimmy Ray Ray simply replied,"hey man there's nothing wrong with wheeling a baby carriage around with no baby inside and an orange keg in it, when last I checked this was fucking America man." When asked if Ray Ray was drinking again or using drugs, Jimmy replied, "even if he was man we would never tell you, where did you get your journalism degree from? The back of a matchbook?"

An upcoming tour in support of the album had to be cancelled due to low demand for tickets and fan interest. Ray Ray could not be reached for further comment on this or other issues. It is a shame to see the rock and roll cliche played out over and over again. If anyone epitomizes this the most it is Ray Ray McClanhan, he had it all, the women, the money and the fame only to throw it all down the toilet in a hail of drug induced nights and dark days. Former band member Jimmy "ratso" Foreman said of McClanhan's epic apetite for drugs and alcohol "The guy had no limits, I once saw him take four tabs of acid, snort six lines of blow and he was popping Vicodin like they were candy, at some point your body can't take it anymore. Have you ever seen someone tripping for five days straight? Well I have and let me tell you, it ain't pretty, you try driving to Mcdonalds in a ferrari at 4 in the morning with a raving lunatic on four tabs of acid, I don't think your going to remember if your Big Mac tasted good."

If fan interest continues to wain for Ray Ray McClanahan there is no doubt in this writers mind that his career is over and has been for a long time. But you can never count the underdog out, this country loves an underdog and maybe, just maybe, Ray Ray has one good album left in his deteriorating psyche. We shall see folks. The album drops May 5th.